truth of torture

i don't hate people... i don't judge people... but you, miss... here's what i want to happen to you... not the killing kind of pain... no no no... that far too easy... but rather...

1.  i want you to have mosquito bites every night such that it becomes hard to sleep or function throughout the day

2.  i want your food to come out cold when you order it at restaurants

3.  i want your remote to be forever our of batteries

4.  i want your heel to break on your favorite shoes when you are at some nice restaurant far from home.

5.  i hope your grocery bags break.

6.  i hope bleach gets all over your favorite shirt.

7.  i hope as soon as you get home with your bread, and you've been craving a certain sandwich... you find out its moldy.

8.  i hope the crossword is torn out of your newspaper when you sit down to do it.

9.  i hope you are able to get every bit of your back popped except the one crick that's been driving you crazy.

10. i hope you have a terrible haircut

11.  i hope you run out of shampoo, but you don't realize it until after you're already in the shower and all soapy

12.  i hope you go get a pedicure and get a fungus from the utensils because they weren't properly sterilized

13.  i hope allergies drive your sinuses crazy

14.  i hope you constantly don't have cell phone reception

15.  i hope you get pink eye

16.  i hope you accidentally leave your car windows down and it rains like crazy

17.  i hope you can't find a toothpick when you desperately need one

18.  i hope you get a terrible rash

19.  i hope you cut yourself shaving. everytime. the small irritating little cuts...

20.  i hope you forget where you put anything you're trying to find

21.  i hope you get paper-cuts on every file you put away

22.  i hope when you get into your car, the sun is so hot that you burn your hands and legs on the seatbelt, seat, steering wheel...

23.  i hope your soda is flat

24.  i hope you have an allergy to your new fabric softner

25.  i hope traffic lights last a ridiculous time before turning green

26.  i hope you get stuck in line in the grocery store behind the old lady with 100s of small items

27.  i hope you stub your toe as soon as you wake up in the morning

28.  i hope your alarm doesn't go off in the morning

29.  i hope your favorite cd gets all sorts of scratched

30.  i hope no cabs stop for you when you need one

thats all for now.

i really don't like you ma'am-- don't discriminate against people.

blacklisted

when i go through airports... i don't really have a problem... i look white white white and totally american... the rest of my family gets "randomly" checked all the time... well, leaving tel aviv on saturday night, that wasn't the case... i've really only been bothered once before and that was on the border from jordan to israel... this time... they were really trying to get to us... then i get back and i'm trying to apply to this medical school in tel aviv... well... the lady i talked to really didn't want me to apply from the beginning and i could tell... in the end i wasn't even able to apply... and i feel truly discriminated against... when things like this happen... it makes me SO much more nationalistic.  people are such assholes.  I decided to wear a hatta for the first time last night... i had bought it while in jerusalem, and i decided it was time.  honestly. it was empowering.  For the first time, even though people probably just thought i was going with the "Rachel ray fashion trend" i could put on the outside who i was on the inside.

As palestinians, we spend a lot of our lives trying to blend in... by being israeli, american, anything to take eyes off of palestinian and the possibly association with hamas and terrorism that people LOVE to attach to the nationality.  well, i AM palestinian.  My dad was actually born before Israel was a state, which by the way does NOT make him old at all--he was born in english-occupied palestine.  I never had to worry about blending in--i don't really stand out.  so... i'm doing my own little experiment with wearing my hatta around.  

jerks.

my life is tabouli salad

Tel-Aviv Sackler School of medicine
Bahamas (carribbean US school of medicine really)
OUmed center try 3 if waitlisting doesn't work out
Loma Linda next year after moving to San Diego
Independent Phlebotomy program


so... yeah... i love tablouli... but not so much when its not what i'm living on but rather what my life IS.

road signs?

Yeah… there are all sorts of crossroads in life… blah blah blah… and there are all sorts of warning signs like for all the construction in Oklahoma… decision ahead 2 miles… decision ahead 1 mile… decision ahead 1000 yards… decision ahead 500 yards… DECIDE NOW… so you have all that time to think about it… so what happens when you are driving down the highway and you know you are going to take the 6c exit, because that is the exit you planned on taking and you are supposed to take and you will be taking… (I mean… how else would you get to the destination that you are supposed to be at in 30 minutes??), and you find out that that exit is closed for construction… you have to decide right then how to get where you want to go. You have 30 minutes to be there. DECIDE NOW.

I’m no good at that… when I’m driving I never mind driving in circles, it gives me more time to think and enjoy the view, and if I forget, I can always risk a little and cross 4 lanes of traffic to exit left… but the decide right now… really, I’m terrible with it. And here I am, I have my life ahead of me, once again, I have no idea where I’ll be in 2 or 3 months, and I’m here in Israel having to decide NOW. Maybe a phlebotomy program? Do I move? Do I stay? Do I keep with CVS? Apply again? Law school?

Where ARE my tarot cards when I need them???

I’m a Gemini, I’m not wired to make decisions, I’m wired to be indecisive, but have a lot of fun doing it. I’m wired to learn about everything, not to have my life decided within 5 minutes of everything going terribly wrong.

Somebody send me a new road sign… preferably one that says “hey mary, do this” and neon light would also be helpful. Thank you.