imposter

social situations often put me into a position where i feel like a complete imposter. i find this interesting because while i know i have a right to my position, at the same time i feel like i cannot necessarily prove this right to anyone else within a brief encounter.

point 1.
medical school.
i sometimes see medical students walking around the hospitals or i meet one out and about in the world and when the topic of school and career, etc arises... i have the tendency to become increasingly sheepish and unsure of my knowledge or my path. i know i did well in school and i'm sure of my knowledge and where i want to go, but for some psychological reason, i cannot feel that this person can possibly believe my lack of evidence for planning on going to medical school in 2010, for example.

its irrational and insecure... but its just the way it is. i demand evidence from those around me for the thoughts, theories, and desires they lay out to me... so i feel less than adequate when people can't even believe me enough to ask for the evidence, but just to throw it to the side.

(post edit: there was more to this post, but it never got written and has been since forgotten, however, i wanted to keep the integrity of the blog and publish my thoughts, albeit years later, from the correct time and date)

chopped bug hair

i had a dream last night where a light colored scarab flew into my hair and stuck there. i had a coworker cut out the chunk of hair that it was entangled into. later in my dream i cut off the rest of my hair... and i just kept attacking my hair with scissors until it was all uneven and an awful mullet. yes thats right... an awful mullet.

in other nightmares--only the ones that happen during waking hours....

i would like to say... less than 1 month in... and obama is sincerely apologizing for his mistake of nominating people with IRS issues. c'mon... really... everyone is making a huge deal out of this but he's actually even coming out and saying that he's sorry when it really wasn't his personal fault if he didn't know about their issues... for those of you who don't know... he actually has a board to research and make sure everything is kosher with his nominees. i'm pretty sure bush said he really didn't make any mistakes even at the end of his 8 years. i just don't understand. there were 8 years of administration that sent the economy to the gutter and people are STILL whining about the new plans to bring it back to clinton levels--or at least livable levels. people are still whining about obama and his policies and ideas... the same people that are whining... this is for you: you HAD 8 YEARS... IT DIDN'T WORK. GIVE IT A DAMN REST AND GO ON VACATION SOMEWHERE FOR A FEW YEARS.

this was my favorite. psych. i had a coworker come in today and say "so i know what democrats don't mind high taxes.... they don't pay them anyways....". he continued to laugh hysterically before going into everything that is wrong and ridiculous about democrats. i've heard his rants so many times before... about how the country is going to hell now that obama won... how healthcare is over and how we need to go buy as many guns as possible because everything about them is about to be illegal. give it a break, man--i really don't like you.


just had to get that off my chest.