Sunday, April 21, 2013 - 

I was carefully constructing my notes into charts and graphs and everything seemed to be going perfectly.  All my highlighters were laid out in order of color, all my pens were laid out in position next to said highlighters, and my chart lines were as straight as could be.

Sudden an ant materialized out of nowhere, and with strong purpose began to charge toward me across my notepad.  While to the brave ant, I'm sure I seemed a Goliath ready to be taken down, I would not have it.  I grabbed the paper crumpled up next to me from the last page of mistake-ridden notes that I had torn out of my binder and I squashed the little bugger - ending his 1 mile per hour path to bring me down.  I saw him still moving and was overcome with a need to end his misery quickly and also with a desire to complete my victory.  I squashed him again.  

It was only then that I realized that I had squashed an ant all over my lovely notes.  I proceeded to scoop him off my paper using a clean 3M post-in note.  Grabbing a second post it note I began frantically attempting to scrap off the remnants of the battle that had just taken place.  

It was then that Adam walked in.  

I told him I had been under attack and it was critical that I clean all discolorations from my paper, no matter how small they be.  my table was SO pristine before the battle. I continued to frantically scratch the paper and asked for a tissue from across the room as no time could be lost.  He obliged and as he came over and watched me work at cleaning, he was overcome with laughter.  

It was then that he pointed out the irony that I was frantically cleaning a 1 millimeter spot of bug-remains from a table labeled "Manifestations" on a page entitled "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder."

Adam asked if I would be rewriting my notes.  To which I looked blankly at him and then pointed to the second line on the page which read:

"affected people try to suppress these thoughts -- they recognize them as abnormal"

I told him as such, I would NOT be rewriting my notes, no matter how much it bothered me, and turned the page.

There is still a smudge on my Manifestations of OCD table.  We'll call it a draw.  Ant: 1 Mary: 1. 

Adam is still laughing.

my mother pointed out that I haven't been writing in my blog and that it was healthy for me to continue a diary of sorts. so my musings on life will continue, this time as a medical student, an activist, a person that cooks under stress, and an observer of the little things in life.  yeah... not much has changed except that I study a lot more now.