dont forget me

i have no internet still, so here i am... taking a break from hours of online submissions on campus... and what am i listening to? someone learning how to play piano next door. holy lord. if i hear any more scales i'm going to explode and it will be very messy in here.

i'll put up some interesting commentary soon enough... i just need to be able to have time to sit down and write them.

moo.(ving) on

so the summer has reached its end. monday school will start again. i have one day until that constant knot of i-know-i-have-something-i-should-be-doing comes back to my throat. i'm working on moving into my condo. i'm very fond of it. i'm glad i got a one bedroom, and the place has already more than transformed. it'll be beautiful, and it makes me feel good to look around and not only realize that this is my place, but it feels especially good to know that it is what it is because i did it. i redid the cabinets and cleaned it all, and installed the bathroom mirror and built the shelves and redid all of the furniture. i made it all completely mine. i do feel that little recluse ocming out, but at the same time. i love my location. its so near everything, i never realized how far away i was i suppose, but now i'm approximately 1 minute away from anywhere i need to be. i'll put pics up of the apartment once its all done.

i'm ready to move on with this next year and get things underway. i'm ready for everything to go back to the groove. i'm ready to be back in norman, although it will be to a completely different life in norman. i'm ready for it.

so as the summer comes to a close, i think i'll bring back a little taste of some of the funnies that went down. mind you, this list is meek, and there was much more, but i never remember them when it comes to making the list. anyhow...here's a taste of SUMMER QUOTES 2005:

quotes from the summer of 2005

i hang out with the ann taylor twins-- they're like two half people.

don't stand like you're about to crush some damn grapes!

c'mon... if you wont give me any money... at least give me a cell phone or something.
- are you serious?
yeah... i could sell it. c'mon.

geez elaine. where do you think they bury homeless people? on 295 on the side of the road, that's where!

those "little thing" were in my epidermis!

a dude named CHUBBLES had SCURVY??

i want to harpooooon him.

hello?
- i was told that you are the one that hangs up the phone on me
*click*

that's street-chemistry at its finest

thought: "hey guys... its elie's look...a...like....................."

you know you've been reading too much jane austen when fortnight, wednesday next, affable, and lady of the house become part of your everyday vocab.

you look like an almost-extinct panda bear.

Is there anything here that DIDN'T come from a dumpster?

you're a regular ruffian! a hooligan! running around with your mullet and chains throwing beercans and wreaking havoc!

hey, if you get to hang out with the carnies again...... could i come?

jeff: "c'mon babe, lets go!"
mary: yeah, babe.
mary: *oops-i-slipped look*
("babe" in both cases is in reference to jennifer gray taking too damn long in class... and i was sitting next to the infamous "babe #2")

graaayyy-eeggg!!!

you think you're SO COOL... but yurr NAW-OT!!

*with loud jazz in the background and in a marvin gaye-esque voice* haaay bay-be... come on over... and take of yo' clooothes... lemme take you for a nice steak dinner and show you the finer things in life. bay-be i luuuuv you.

my coworker just walked by and exclaimed "i wants to throw a bridal shower for you before you're sent to be traded for livestock and fruits".

"hello, this is atif, i need you to bring my daughters car into you to be detailed and have some body work done on it. call me back and when you do, identify yourself as ALI BABA!"

"a BADGAH! oh i should LOVE to see a BADGAH!"

(while watching "the lion the witch and the wardrobe")
-hey mary, i think i know whats wrong with us
whats that?
-well, do you realized we thought this was amazing growing up. its the lamest thing ever.
isn't that WHY it's amazing? RAAARRRRHHHHH
-you do realize that if they made aslan talk at a normal speed, they would have really only needed one tape... they could have cut over half an hour out!

cheese to mcdonalds!

"'AH-LOW!"
-uh... hi, is afaf there?
"Ah-LOW! KEIN?"
-uh... i think i have the wrong number.
"KEIN?? KEIN??"
-(frantic thought)what would i'm sorry i got the wrong number be in hebrew... uh... to-da... lo...uh... slekha... ani rotza mama... uh...should i tell him i want a large ice cream?(end frantic thought)
-lo...uh... GAH! I DON'T SPEAK HEBREW! *click*
explanitory note: my parents had two numbers down as my grandparents house, and i chose the wrong one... giving me an israeli house and not my arab-grandparents... my polite hebrew isn't exactly up to scratch i might say...by the way...to all of you who don't know hebrew at all... kein means yes.

smell the tile

there was this one spot on campus, before the construction was done on the gaylord building... the spot was right on asp, after you'd just passed gould hall... and the gravel and the sun and the heat and the sounds and the fence... everything about that spot instantly would send me back to the streets of nazareth for just a few moments... and once my brained gooed back into reality, i realized... nope, i'm just in norman...

sometimes i can smell the wind or feel the entire environment by looking at a picture... or hearing a familiar sound... i can smell the tiles... see the furniture... feel the cold stone handrail i always sat on...

i was talking to my big sister today on the phone, who is in israel, in nazareth, for my cousin's wedding. i heard someone walk across the tile at my grandmas house and i was instantly transferred to her living room... we usually would go together, but you know... being kicked out of school isn't always efficient... so... i'm trying to avoid it this time.

so... whats the point of this post? or do i really think you care what nazareth smells like? i just think it's incredible that you can have a certain image... no... aura... about a place of your childhood, and as you age and return... you expect the place to be the same... you expect your cousins to still all be like--6 years old-- you expect the streets and shopkeepers and houses to all be the same... and sometimes they are and sometimes they aren't... there are things about nazareth that will always be the same-- but there are things about nazareth that have changed quite a lot... its fairly gross i hear. funny-- everyone thinks of it as this incredibly holy city, and i'm here telling you that its fairly gross. its much dirtier now... all the beautiful places we used to play aren't there anymore, they've all been turned into parking lots. those damn roosters and chickens that used to keep me up for hours are prolly all gone. my paternal grandparents house has morphed into a modern nightmare. but among all the changes... one thing hasn't changed. smell the tile... it smells the same.

yeah, i'm sad i didn't go this year, but look at it this way... with all the hummers around... it feels more and more like israel every day. ;)

it IS the car for me

WHEEEEE!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro. You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

eavesdropping

as soon as i walked into the store today, wearing my usual handy-girl outfit of jeans and a men’s undershirt i noticed a party of people sitting in a booth... one of the ladies noticed me, smiled, and seemed intrigued by me... she just kept glancing at me with this almost creepy warm smile. anyways, as intrigued as she was with me, i was sorta intrigued with their little party, so i sat in my booth in the corner so that i could hear their conversation, but i was creepy-close. the group of people could be described as older middle-aged do-gooder people. these people had traveled, whether on mission trips or just on charitable trips and perhaps some even for leisure, but they were total americana. one of the ladies i noticed, to give you a better picture... was dressed in a completely red white and blue outfit with stars and stripes and everything... but she was wearing a bag that said 'jerusalem' on it... you know... the hand-cross-stitched ones you would see all over the street markets in the tourist shops... it was an odd combo. so anyways... these people found themselves to be cultured and sharing their experiences with friends at the mediterranean deli.

so... why am i telling you about this party? here is why i became so involved in listening to their conversation. i noticed they were discussing the visitation of a 3rd world country, and they were talking about how they ate some dish (i forget its name) of rice and something else everyday... this gave me warm-fuzzy thoughts of the university and hotel in jordan, where we ate the same things everyday... mmm chicken and rice, how i miss thee not... anyways, so i got pulled in. the couple began this story of how they were weary of eating meat in this country b/c you never know how long its been sitting with no refrigeration, and no telling how well it was cooked etc. problem was everyone wanted them to come to eat with them. on one occasion the people of a village or some such had asked them to come in a way such that they could not refuse. as they sat around and ate their usual dish, the meat was also brought out... the ingenious little excuse they came up with not to eat was 'oh, we eat much more often then you do, here, you have the meat'... the people wouldn't hear of this and kept pushing the plate of meat back in front of her. she didn't want to be rude so she took off a little bit and ate it... but it tasted so rubbery. it turned out that they had given her the "male parts, and it seems as if she got the genitals." [laughter from the party] needless to say she didn't eat any more meat. her companions asked her if those serving her would have been offended had she not had any and she said yes. her analysis however was "they were so poor and in such a bad state, that all they had left to give us were the male parts!" sorta in a oh-how-quaint attitude...

here is where i wanted to jump in. i restrained, being at my dad's store and all, but i wanted to jump in SO badly. she understood correctly that they would have been offended had she not tried it, but what she did NOT correctly understand is that these "male parts" are the most valuable part to these people. these are a delicacy, and the very best of what they could offer. they continually pushed it in front of her to honor her. they would not hear of eating what their guest of honor should be eating... it was not that they had no other meat, they probably killed the goat or whatever animal purely for that occasion, but they wanted to present her with the best as a token of their respect, gratitude, and honor. but they were mistaken as "quaint" and pitied.

cultural misunderstanding bother me quite a lot... mainly b/c i figure if you are going to be in another culture, you must learn about it before you go, and if you don't do that, you should take care to try to understand it to the best of your ability while there. learn. learn from all that surrounds you. these people will forever be misunderstood. perhaps, yes, they were poor, but that was not their reasoning for giving her the genitals of the animal. it makes me sad that these people will forever remain laughed at as a funny story and not remembered for their efforts. i think this is a situation which can and should be helped. don't be naive and don't assume other cultures. ask and learn.

psychosis follow-up

okay, so today, i tried something new and different.

i figured i would present our families problems to my mother in a way that she might better respond. i acted as if she were a psychologist, as she is, and i just presented... i've noticed that you and dad do this and this, and i do the same thing, i don't believe this is effective and maybe we should try this... yeah... that didn't work... she just got defensive and claimed that she didn't do anything wrong and i did... strike one.

okay, fine... so you don't do anything wrong, try to look at it from my perspective. here is what frustrates me. do you realize that i am unable to even fully complete an idea or proposal without it being shot down and denied. before you have any idea what the extent of the proposal may be, you already have your mind set that i'm wrong and my idea is ridiculous and purely oppositional. i see irony here. strike two.

as i sat there trying my best to do what i hate most (talk to my mother in a fashion suited for any therapists office)... i noticed that she herself turned into a therapist. hearing but not listening, and doing the unthinkable. she did what all therapists probably want to do half the time, but don't... she did this b/c she was comfortable b/c she was with me. she covered her face b/c she was laughing... just outright laughing that i was trying to tell her what was bothering me and trying to discuss it without fighting. strike three.

so... i don't see me trying to get through to them happening again in the near future. i'm pretty much done with that... i figure i'll just go about the way i have gone about it, the same way she goes about it with her mother... just leave everything unresolved, deal with it, and go lead your own life elsewhere 6 days a week.

apparently you can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being... them or their psychotic kids.

psychosis

reason number 30 that you know you grew up in an arab home:
you have at least one irrational fear or phobia (or mental condition) which can be attributed to your mother.

so, we've established that i have psychosis. we all know i'm a little bit country, a little bit rock 'n roll, and a little bit psycho. It happens.

we also know that as a gemini, and as myself, communication is a big issue to me. i have to be able to communicate, i need to be able to articulate my ideas, arguments, and thoughts in a clear fashion. when i am unable to do this, i get überfrustrated.

now, CONNECTION TIME. my mother, one of the only people able to actually upset me, has had 20 years now to master pushing my buttons. oh and she uses it. she knows exactly what to do, whether it is purposeful or done subconsciously, to get me to this frustrated state where my brain clicks into freak-mode, and i don't know what to do... this is where the psychosis kicks in. i've realized her more effective method of pushing me to this point is by holding a discussion with me but restricting all of my arguments and changing all of hers and mine, no matter what has previously been said on topic. this therefore means to my brain that i not only am unable to communicate my argument and points presently, but i did not communicate them correctly the first time around.

i hate being misunderstood and held at that word. more than that, i hate being suffocated and restricted when it comes to communication. how can you think i'm stupid or irrational if you haven't even heard my argument and refuse to listen to any part of it!?!?

one angry butterball

this evening at 18:13 i was attacked by a turkey of the worst nature: the frozen kind.
this has never happened to me before.

either the varnish fumes are getting to my head and my mother is nutty or we are on the verge of a revolution, friends. REVOLUTION.