imposter

social situations often put me into a position where i feel like a complete imposter. i find this interesting because while i know i have a right to my position, at the same time i feel like i cannot necessarily prove this right to anyone else within a brief encounter.

point 1.
medical school.
i sometimes see medical students walking around the hospitals or i meet one out and about in the world and when the topic of school and career, etc arises... i have the tendency to become increasingly sheepish and unsure of my knowledge or my path. i know i did well in school and i'm sure of my knowledge and where i want to go, but for some psychological reason, i cannot feel that this person can possibly believe my lack of evidence for planning on going to medical school in 2010, for example.

its irrational and insecure... but its just the way it is. i demand evidence from those around me for the thoughts, theories, and desires they lay out to me... so i feel less than adequate when people can't even believe me enough to ask for the evidence, but just to throw it to the side.

(post edit: there was more to this post, but it never got written and has been since forgotten, however, i wanted to keep the integrity of the blog and publish my thoughts, albeit years later, from the correct time and date)