learning from loss

how often is it that we learn from something we obtain? more often i think the situation is that we learn from what we lose. when i'm dealing with an acquaintance, i will give them respect and i'll trust them--to a degree, i'm not sure i really trust anyone at all-- but i'll give them respect. the moment they do something to jeopardize that respect or trust, its gone. if i see a great deal of quality in one of these acquaintances or friends, then i will be willing to give them chances again and again, but after a while... i don't really care to tolerate people thinking they can treat me however they want, so when the respect is lost no matter how good of friends we continue to be, the full respect is rarely gained back.

so that's it. you learn from what you lose. you don't really appreciate a job and its benefits until it's gone... you don't appreciate those you love fully until you fear their loss... i dont necessarily mean death...even if its just a move away. elaine and i started getting along the best when she moved out of the house and left for a summer before college. its just the way things work. and for me. you learn about people and situations when they lose my respect. oh. and i remember my lessons usually. i get that from my dad. we hold grudges. we cut people off. its not the thing to do. but we do it.

i always was daddy's girl. and i was always a nice girl. i can be the best friend you've every had. but don't try to walk all over me.

in the words of deniro: "i have to be able to trust you with my life, can i trust you?"