out of the dingy city, into the fire.
i've left my wonderful vacation from life. and it was odd... it was like... everything was on pause for me... sorta like the saved by the bell time outs, then as soon as i landed at the Will Rogers not-so-world airport, the screenfreeze was over and it was as fast pace and stressful as ever. i've been going at a million miles a second, if not in activities then in my mind.
i had a job interview with a panal at the psych hospital and halfway through the interview...and i was saying the perfect little answers i knew were what they wanted to hear, and i realized that i really did feel that way. i really am passionate about helping people. i really do believe that you can't just seem to care, you have to really care. i got passionate about this during the interview, and i think it showed. i really do want the job, but its ok if i don't get it. i don't really think i have enough experience for them to have full faith in me, but i have faith in me, and going through that interview was really good to kick me into shape. i know i have to finish all this medical school bull in order to achieve my ridiculously lofty goal. but i'm more determined than ever.
the next few weeks are going to be stressful. sometimes i think i have too much faith in myself. i want to do what interests me, and i'm not interested unless its a challange. maybe too much of a challange for me to bite off. within 3 weeks i will have 2 10-15 page papers to write, at least 3 3-page papers, at least one organic exam, and at least 3 presentations. but thats the way the cookie crumbles when you take discussion classes. i think i can handle it. and i think i want to. i miss me. i miss the mary that can take anything on and come out on top. i don't want to struggle or be frustrated anymore. thats not me.
i should be frustrated about things like not being able to be done with school early enough to get out and help, not about being behind in a class or not finishing my arabic homework.
i'm back to my healthy diet, back to my work-outs, back to my homework, back to full nights of sleep, and i've been dreaming. very recently i started remembering my dreams again. full, long dreams, that you don't want to wake up from because you are curious what is going to happen.
well, i don't know what's going to happen. i'm going to let things take their course, and i'm going to follow my own advice and take things one situation at a time. i'm going to follow the advice of my mother who wrote to me in a very special letter my senior year that when i fall down or am pushed to the ground, to get back up, and yet, while i'm down there, take a breath and note of every pebble of the ground i'm face to face with. take note of every step, the good and the hard and the bad and the easy. its all worth noting and learning from. we can't afford to miss a moment of life. just take it as it comes.
now's song: eisley - laughing city
i had a job interview with a panal at the psych hospital and halfway through the interview...and i was saying the perfect little answers i knew were what they wanted to hear, and i realized that i really did feel that way. i really am passionate about helping people. i really do believe that you can't just seem to care, you have to really care. i got passionate about this during the interview, and i think it showed. i really do want the job, but its ok if i don't get it. i don't really think i have enough experience for them to have full faith in me, but i have faith in me, and going through that interview was really good to kick me into shape. i know i have to finish all this medical school bull in order to achieve my ridiculously lofty goal. but i'm more determined than ever.
the next few weeks are going to be stressful. sometimes i think i have too much faith in myself. i want to do what interests me, and i'm not interested unless its a challange. maybe too much of a challange for me to bite off. within 3 weeks i will have 2 10-15 page papers to write, at least 3 3-page papers, at least one organic exam, and at least 3 presentations. but thats the way the cookie crumbles when you take discussion classes. i think i can handle it. and i think i want to. i miss me. i miss the mary that can take anything on and come out on top. i don't want to struggle or be frustrated anymore. thats not me.
i should be frustrated about things like not being able to be done with school early enough to get out and help, not about being behind in a class or not finishing my arabic homework.
i'm back to my healthy diet, back to my work-outs, back to my homework, back to full nights of sleep, and i've been dreaming. very recently i started remembering my dreams again. full, long dreams, that you don't want to wake up from because you are curious what is going to happen.
well, i don't know what's going to happen. i'm going to let things take their course, and i'm going to follow my own advice and take things one situation at a time. i'm going to follow the advice of my mother who wrote to me in a very special letter my senior year that when i fall down or am pushed to the ground, to get back up, and yet, while i'm down there, take a breath and note of every pebble of the ground i'm face to face with. take note of every step, the good and the hard and the bad and the easy. its all worth noting and learning from. we can't afford to miss a moment of life. just take it as it comes.
now's song: eisley - laughing city
posted by bitterhoney at 9:58 PM
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