my favorite mistake

Kevin and i were working together this weekend, and of course listening to our favorite soul and crushed love music... and he turned to me and said "favorite mistake: i define that as on the list of things you wished you hadn't done or wouldn't do again, this thing would be your favorite. and your favorite mistake would be?"

well, i think for me to wish i hadn't done it or would not repeat doing it, it would be a regret. i don't believe in regrets. why would you regret something? because you got hurt in the end? no. what i told kevin at the time is i don't have regrets. everything i did, either mistake or not, has either taught me something or ended in a great story.

some people go through life trying to prevent ever getting to this point. you can't regret someone, and you can't get hurt if you don't put yourself in a position to be hurt. right? no no no no. you can't ever feel great until you've felt terrible. everything is normal unless you've had bad to know good and extremes of either feeling. and sometimes that hurt is worth it. sometimes even if you know its going to kill you for months or even years, one night that you know is going to end up hurting, is worth months worth of nights that felt neither great nor terrible. for me. its worth it. for me the pain, the depression, the tears... its all worth it.

regrets have no place in life, but pain does. there is nothing wrong with pain, it shows that we aren't completely numb. there is wrong in avoiding pain at all costs. what good is life without the times when you are truely happy, and what are those times if you don't have the pain that distinguishes them?